“ Do we even know what these are?” I asked no one in particular I was referring to the array of very large cookies at the extreme rate of a colorful variety of cheese, salami, crackers, fruits, and vegetables, spread on the table in the middle of the room.

A lovely woman standing to my right placed your finger below the printed names on the butcher paper under the spread of food: Strawberry cheesecake, Chocolate chip, coconut, pecan, and Chai Snickerdoodles. Then she replied “What could be bad about that? Chai is my favorite.”

And so the conversation began.

That’s it! Effortlessly I opened the conversation over the obvious in sight, and acknowledged the moment to share the experience. Why doesn’t this engagement happen more easily? Or does it?

That moment happened at an opening event in an art gallery. I had arrived to find lots of people mingling about. Some paired engaged in focus chatted to one another, others solitarily meandering. I was among the latter without any intention to self isolate. The attitude and state of mind stops me from assuming or readily labeling quiet people as shy or introvert.

Even if partly true, interacting with someone new gets awkward. My own willingness to break the ice is almost a game now.

I don’t time myself or put goals around how many people I talk to in some period of time. I just know from experience that if I don’t try and make an effort to start a conversation, I’ll lose out. It’s an opportunity not worth missing.

Outreach isn’t only a skill sales people need. Anyone in a helping people role often must initiate the conversation. The script almost always begins with an inquiry. Teachers try to provoke students, order takers, journalists, clerks, professional all ask a variation of how can they help. Or what do you need?

Taking chances

Think about it. What is it about the weather that makes it an easy and commonplace topic of casual conversation? I’m no expert, but it’s a pretty neutral , inoffensive opener.

What’s not to like about a weather comment? The reaction was similar to what the lively woman I met said about snickerdoodles.

In situations where no one seems familiar, or the setting purposefully organized, I remember one thing.

Life is with people!

Puncturing the silence riding an elevator with strangers and mentioning the weather might get a smile. If the elevator happens to be one I use with frequency, initiating small talk builds rapport, make strangers a little familiar. But and elevator opportunity is highly compressed, and offers limited chance to linger, or open up. In the case of the chai lover, I chose a different path and it led to making a new acquaintance.

Personally, varying the starting line for each conversational moment also turns them into wonderful experiences. A simple remark on a common experience, made in the moment is easy and often welcome. For example, while waiting in the security line for an event, small talk about the signup snafus earned me a complement on my glasses. The conversation snowballed and I was able to make a valuable business connection.

The more we make the most of the little moments the more distinguishing we make our lives. These moments are easily recalled as micro stories that also prove useful in starting new conversations, presentations or blog posts!

So are you making stories? I’d love to hear how you take advantage of moments to open a conversation, and establish a new relatable experience that may blossom into a clear relationship. Or please do share a story of how you too stay connected to people and actively engaged with them.